Are you calling me old?

The following dialogue took place today:

Student 1: "Miss Sjoberg, what is your favorite cartoon?"

Me: "Calvin and Hobbes."

Student 2 to Student 1: "What is that?"

Student 1: "How should I know? I'm not from her time!"

6th Grade Poetry

We're doing a poetry unit. And one of my students wrote this poem that he claims is not about me... but my name is Miss Sjoberg, I sometimes wear black glasses and I do have 13 students. I'm skeptical. For your entertainment:

Miss Spikeburg

With spidery legs that glow in sight

as the helpless children run in fright

with nerdish glasses so so black

you can see her fangs go on back

with 13 cutish, innocent kids

she'll be so awesome...

... or will she.

Freedom of Speech

I feel that teaching my students real life skills is a vital part of my job. In 5th & 6th grade a big part of that is responsibility. From Day 1 I've tried to make them responsible citizens of this classroom. When they leave out the reading bean bags, they find they are without those the following day. This is just one example.

Well, yesterday one of my students left his binder in the middle of the classroom floor. So I confiscated it. However, I  knew that he would need it today so I left him a note that said: "Your binder was found on the classroom floor. What are you willing to do today to get it back?" His solution: give a speech to the class - and a well dramatized speech it was. At the conclusion of his speech I asked for a copy of it. Here it is:

"Citizens of Sjoberg:
Responsibility is the source of growing up. Leaving your binders is not responsible. I think that Ms. Sjoberg taking my binder is very heinous, but I think all of us can prevent her from taking our stuff.
Say 'aye' if you agree with me.
Say 'aye' if you can fight back from her taking our stuff.
Then have RESPONSIBILITY.

Citizens of Sjoberg:
Have a fantastic day and victory is ours.
Yeah."

* I will note that I have never referred to my students as "citizens of Sjoberg" or anything along those lines That was all him.

Black widows and homemade deliciousness

Morning with 5th & 6th graders: "Miss Sjoberg, you look like a black widow. I think it's the hair."


Afternoon of parent/teacher conferences: homemade gluten free cookies from one my student's moms. If I used hashtags that one would be #winning

The Things We Say

It was late morning and I was in the middle of teaching a 6th grade math lesson. One of my students who often refers to me by name of the former teacher or by "Mrs. Sjoberg" (to which I generally reply, "That's my mom, but she might be happy to help you") was struggling to come up with my name. Finally he said, "Can I just refer to you by your initials, 'BS'?" I didn't respond to his request right away and I soon heard murmurs of "BS" throughout the room when one of my 5th graders said, "Wait, that's not right! We can't call her by her initials BS." The room erupted in laughter and I informed them that no, they could not call me BS. I got them settled and went back to teaching but there were still whispers of "BS" in my room. After a moment or two I made the announcement, "Enough with the BS. Back to work." No sooner had the words left my mouth than a parent (from another class) peeks in my room.

Only time will tell if I'm the one to get sent to the principal's office.

Those darn English words

Part of my reading assignments are vocabulary words from the book. I give the students a list of words from the reading that they are responsible for. They know these words are free game for quiz questions.

Well, the question was "What is the meaning of austerity?"
Student: "Austerity means to stair astray."

Life in 5th & 6th grade

Life with 5th and 6th graders is never dull. There aren't enough hours in the day for me to blog all the ridiculous and yet serious answers they give on homework and tests. On a math test I recently gave, there was a rather difficult problem. All but one of my students attempted some sort of answer. The one that didn't simply put a frowny face. Understood, kid.


Because I teach both 5th and 6th grade, spelling tests can tend to get tricky. I give them at the same time and toggle back and forth between grades: "fifth grade your word is...." Periodically during the test I check to make sure everyone is tracking. Yesterday I even repeated the ENTIRE list for each grade at the end. The students turned in their tests but one came and personally handed his test to me: "I have an extra word in here and I listened while you read our list but I couldn't figure out what was off. So you're gonna have to figure it out." So much for me teaching them responsibility...

The Start of a New School Year

After a period of silence, I'm back. It's a new school year. A new class. And yes, a new job. Nearly three weeks ago I said goodbye to my sad and confused preschoolers ("My mom said you're going to a new school. I'm sad." And: "Are you going to go to a new school for 1 day?"). Two days ago I welcomed a world of almost-middle-schoolers into my classroom. Some of them are taller than me. Sometimes they're smelly (especially after outside recess in 90+ degree weather). But this teacher is very excited for this school year.

Mom and Dad

This conversation was too good to not share:
Preschooler 1: Do you live in a blue house, Miss Britta?

Me: No. But I used to. My mom and dad live in a blue house.

Preschooler 2: You have a mom and dad?

Me: Yes, I do.

Preschooler 2 [very seriously]: I never knew that.

Me: My mom and dad are going to come visit me this summer.

Preschooler 1: Are they going to come visit us?

4 year old joke telling

At breakfast this morning
4 year old: Why did the chicken and the bunny cross the fire hydrant?
Me: I don't know. Why?
4 year old: Because they wanted to drive the fire truck! [laughs hysterically]

Did I miss something?!

An apology makes all the difference

Bad days. We all have them. That was yesterday for me. It wasn't just cranky kids. It was expensive car repairs. It was the rain that started just as I was getting ready to bike home. It was a neighbor's car alarm that went off in the middle of the night previous to yesterday. It was that pounding headache. And it was a little boy who was "mean" to me.

But this morning I walked into my classroom to a smiling boy holding a letter that melted my heart and restored my faith in humanity.

Please note: I said nothing to the parents of this child about his behavior yesterday. I figured we all have days where we aren't our nicest, friendliest self - I was willing to cut him some slack. But he must have confessed.

Lessons from a Preschool Teacher

Sometimes we get too caught up in and stressed out from the adult world. After nearly 8 months of teaching preschool I've learned as much as I've taught. 3 & 4 year olds have the amazing ability to make you want to live life to fullest or go home, hibernate and refuse to face the real world (after they've entirely drained your human energy supply). I'd be lying if I said everyday wasn't an adventure.

So here it is, life lessons from my own [preschool teacher] perspective:

• I've learned that sometimes you have to give up your adult pride to be a best friend to a 4 year old whose dog just died.

• I've learned to eat those pale green/brownish, overcooked peas at the lunch table because what do those words "eating vegetables makes you strong and healthy" mean if I don't do it myself?

• I've learned it's more important to be able to tell your mom or dad 3 good things that happened at the end of the day than to focus on the fact that you hit someone or you made someone cry after you pushed him down on the playground.

• I've learned a hug can make a lot of situations better.

• I've learned not to flinch when a 4 year old gets over zealous telling a story and suddenly [and accidentally] spits on my face.

• I've learned that some battles aren't worth suiting up for and others absolutely cannot be lost. Choose wisely.

• I've learned that the world needs more love, more discipline, and more respect than we're teaching the next generation.

keeping the sickness at home

4 year old: "I have a fever at home but I didn't bring it today."

Thanks keeping us healthy here at school.

Baby talk

The head teacher in my preschool classroom is currently pregnant. Since the kids found out there's been a lot of baby talk. Today one of the kids said, "When your baby comes out of your belly she will have some blood on her and she will be kinda rotten."

Now who wants to have a baby?

All about teeth...

"When I was a baby and I was born I had blood in here (points to mouth). It was a cavity."

"When I get bigger I'm going to lose these two teeths right here."

How many times a day should you brush your teeth? "28 million!!"

why my job > your job

This afternoon we had Disney music playing in our room. "You'll be in my Heart" came on and I sang most passionately the lyrics to two of my preschoolers I was playing with at the time. At one point I was holding both their hands singing from the depths of my being-- and what were those two doing? Staring straight into my eyes, completely captivated, grinning away.

Now, when was the last time you had a similar story from your day at work?

Chapped hands, chapped lips

The cold Iowa temperatures have really done a number on everyone's skin this winter. We've encouraged our preschoolers' parents to bring in lotion and chapstick to help keep everyone's skin hydrated. Today I was putting lotion on one of the kids' hands whose were particularly chapped. As I put it on he sighed in relief. Then he said, "that feels good. It's cold when you put it on but it warms up when it gets sucked in."

Portraits by a preschooler

One of my preschoolers sheepishly handed these drawings to me and informed me the pictures were all of me.

Teaching has clearly taken a toll on my personal appearance. And I only look happy 2/3 of the time, but hey, it's otherwise been a productive 7 months with these little people. And it looks like I've gotten a little taller and skinnier, too.

math isn't really their thing

The other day one of my preschoolers was talking to me about his behavior. "How happy do you think my mom and dad will be if I have a really good day? How many times happy?"
Me: "200 million times happy"
Preschooler: "Nah, I think they'll be happier than that. I think they'll be 11,036 times happy."
It's an honest mistake for a 4 year old.


Earlier this week I had all my preschooler sitting down for group time. We were discussing the calendar and holidays and such. I asked them what holiday was going to be happening this week. They excitedly told me Valentine's day and then proceeded to tell me about the superhero and princess Valentines they would be bringing on Friday. One of the preschoolers stood up, clearly ecstatic and said very loudly and very fast: "I'm bringing M&M Valentines for everyone, but don't tell them!"
Your secret's safe with me, kid.

Ouchies, Owies and Booboos

Today one of my preschoolers came up to me nearly in tears. "I've got an owie on my foot." I helped him take off his shoe and sock and looked at his foot but I couldn't find anything. Neither could he. I found a scrap of something in his shoe, so I guessed that was the problem. He said that was it. Then he looked at his foot again and said, "actually the owie was here but it got sucked in."

You think you've had a bad day?

At lunch today one of my preschoolers started to choke. He threw up his food in the process. On the plus side, I did not have to implement the Heimlich maneuver -he took care of the problem throwing up his food.

At snack another child was full out crying: his banana peel had the sticker on it.

After nap time, while still not fully awake one of my preschoolers started walking toward the bathroom but before he ever made it there, he dropped his pants and took aim in the middle of the classroom. He was barely caught before he peed on the carpet. He very sleepily told me he "needed to go potty."

At group time, when the kids sat down, before I had time to arrange them in a circle one kid just started crying because "he couldn't see." There was a girl in front of him.

When I turned on Disney music this afternoon a couple of the kids got upset because I wouldn't let them stare at the ipad screen which had the album covers of the songs playing on Pandora.

Passing on the snore

My favorite kid quotes almost always come from serious conversations and/or sincere requests. Today's quote was said in the most serious of situations.
It was nap time. One of my preschool students asked me if he could get a tissue. I could tell he was stuffed up so I let him get one. On his way to the tissue box he stopped and very sincerely told me: My dad always snores and then that snore comes to me. And then I snore." In other words: "I have a cold and I'm probably going to snore during nap time today. But if anyone asks, I get it from my dad." That's how I interpreted it anyway. Listen kid, my dad snores but so far that snore has not come to me.


And another of my favorite quotes: "I need more chapstick on my lips. Mine fell off." These little people are chapstick fiends.

the life of the pint size folks

Today one of my preschoolers was putting his shoes on and after he put the first one on I informed him that it was on the wrong foot. He grabbed that shoe and started to take it off, then stopped and told me: "I'm going to leave it on the wrong foot. I like it that way. It's tighter on my feet."


One of the other preschool teachers in my room was discussing rhyming words with the kids. She gave them some examples and then asked them to try. Teacher: "What rhymes with flat?" Preschooler: "Victor Vito!" [note: we do sing a song about Victor Vito, but I'm not sure why his name was thrown out at that time.]


And here's just a few of things I heard this week:
"My muscles are strong like my dad's."

"This is the Great Wall of China. This is where the monsters are [pointing at the wall]."

"Where did you get those glasses?"
"At a place where you buy glasses." 
"Like a 'make glasses store?'"

"I had a good day. I was good at lunch. I was good at nap. And every other time."