She doesn't suspect ANYthing

My stress level has been higher in the last couple of weeks than it has been all semester, mainly because my biggest projects for the university side of student teaching have been due. But, my students have been very complimentary and sentimental these last few days. As always, I've found humor in what they say and do.

I've been teaching less and less as I approach my final days. This week I'm only teaching 2 out 6 class periods a day. I also missed a day because of a seminar on campus, so some days I feel a little out of the loop as to what's going on in my classroom.

Yesterday a student comes up to me: "Miss Sjoberg, what do I do with this letter?"
Me: "I don't know. What letter is it?"
Student: "The one we were supposed to write."
Me: "For science?"
Student: "No, not for science. (a light bulb in his head goes off). Noooooo, not for science. And you're not teaching us anymore so nevermind! Just don't worry about it." Student walks over to my cooperating teacher and whispers, in a rather loud whisper voice: "I almost gave it away. I almost gave this to Miss Sjoberg. She asked if it was for science, and then I realized maybe she didn't know. But I was smooth. She doesn't suspect ANYthing." Student walks back to me: "I just forgot you weren't teaching us anymore. Don't worry about the letter. It wasn't for science."

How old ARE you?

I had my final observation today and as I was teaching, my supervisor (a 72 year old professor) asked if she could do an activity with my kids. She told my students she just misses working with 5th graders. One of my students said, "You look like a fun teacher!" She told them that she began teaching a long time ago. "Do you know how old my very first class of students is now? In their 50s." I looked at the sea of faces in front of her, awestruck. One student said, in genuine shock, "How old ARE you??"

Daily Battles

Welcome back from spring break! We were celebrating spring here in Indiana anyway last week. Mother nature gave us a good size snow storm and plenty of 30 degree days.


At any rate, here are just a few of the daily battles I face in 5th grade:

• Do you count "averates" as correct when the answer should be "evaporates?"

• There was a huge gap in the line as we walk back from lunch so I inquired as to why one particular boy was distancing himself so much. He points to Girl A and Girl B: "I'm scared of her. She likes me." Me:"Which one?" Student: "Both of them. I dated that one for a week and the other one..." Followed by an expression of bewilderment.

• What's the difference between mass and weight? Student: "Weight is like what happens to you when you eat McDonald's all the time."

• Homework assignment asks for an example of a solid. Student answer: "Stamche." Which I'm pretty sure is "stomach" and what does one even do with such an answer?

Of course you have to let it preheat!

Student walks into my class late after I have already begun teaching:
[holding a wet paper towel on his forehead] "Miss Sjoberg, I just have this migraine and I haven't been able to work for the last 2 hours. It's just awful. See, I'm trying to hold this wet cloth on it. And my forehead's been preheating for 2 hours."

I'm not sure what it means for a forehead to be preheating, but it sounds like it's awful.

Favorite 5th grade quotes

"My back just really hurts. I need a little person to walk on it."

"I was just wondering if I could eat this Starburst. My throat's really been bothering me."

"Cotton Eyed Joe" played on Just Dance during recess and my kids convinced me to dance to it. One student: "Miss Sjoberg, you gotta put some hip action into it!"

Me: "Unless by some miracle the internet starts working we're not going to be able to watch the brainpop video. But we have other things we can do!"
Student (said somewhat quietly): "We need a miracle."

Oh, the creative minds!

The following was are writing prompts with the student's response:

It was just another day on the moon when I looked out the spaceship's window only to find...
..."a 10 foot alien saying, 'take me to your leader.' I say, 'what is that thing?' It had 6 arms, blue and red skin. It was so ugly I passed out. When I woke up I was in some building. I was being examined."

..."Abraham Lincoln."


I was sailing on Saturn's rings for a relaxing two hours when I got a call on my spaceship's radio...
..."so I listened and it said 'I'M GONNA GET YOU!' I said, 'what a weird day.'"

..."to help a stranded astronaut. I turned on my ship's engine and raced to the scene to help the astronaut. I saw the astronaut so I pulled him in. I laid him on the floor and pulled off his helmet. It was love at first sight..."

The Maine Way

The life of a teacher is not only busy, but I've found the busier it gets the harder it is to truly appreciate the little things my kids say. But this one was simply unforgettable. And I got a good laugh about it.

Student A: Miss Sjoberg, how do you write so neat? Your handwriting is so good.

Student B: Because she's from Maine, so she writes nice. My brother dated a girl from Maine and she had good handwriting too.

That's how we raise 'em folks!